Why I dread family get-togethers (anxiety)

Family Gathering
Picture of me (bunny ears) and my sister last Easter!

Next weekend is Easter weekend. My mom’s side of the family always gets together for Easter (ironically, the important holiday in our family). No matter what, we all get together for Easter, even if it’s a flight in or a 7 hour drive. My family, as you can tell by our choice holiday, isn’t exactly conventional.

For me… I always dread family get togethers. My parents are split so holidays were always confusing after a certain age and just not enjoyable, not really anyway. Some times is seemed like more stress than the benefit of happiness and being together like it’s supposed to be.

I’m excited for next weekend. I get to see my aunt and all of my cousins… I get to see my mom and my sister. I get to see all of that side of the family. I’m super excited… but I’m also stressed.

The closer it comes… the more I want to just, I don’t know, beat a pillow (I’ve never actually done that), scream? All of this anxiety is just building up. What if there’s emotional drama and stress? What if the drive there and back is more than I can handle in a short period of time? What about money or plans not going right? How about the stress of everything that could possibly go wrong?

I tend to think of the worst and hope for the best… then I’m not disappointed when it’s better than the worst that could happen… But it just isn’t good. It’s a stressful way to think… It builds up my anxiety way more than it should, but then the drop and anxiety attack when it doesn’t go wrong isn’t as bad.

I know that once we’re there, the hotel will be great and relaxing and then going to an awesome arcade place (1984) will be a blast. Easter day and watching all the kids search for eggs will be the best. Getting our Easter baskets (pleeeeeeeeease have yummy treats and rechargeable batteries and socks…. yes, I’m old enough to want socks…). I know everything will be fine and I just keep trying to think like that.

I just want everyone know… everyone that sits there and dreads those horrible family gatherings that it WILL be okay. I want you all to just try to relax, take a deep breath. Just typing all of this out has relaxed me some. I dread this upcoming weekend less and that’s because I know it will all be okay and I get to see my mom’s side of the family once more before I walk down the aisle.

I hope you all have a great Easter weekend and hopefully great upcoming family get togethers. Just relax!

 

Keep calm (or try to),

Epic

 

  • Hey Epic! I want to thank you for posting this. I have really bad social anxiety and spending time with family can heighten that. I’m sure everything will be okay, just like you posted but it is incredibly helpful to know other people understand!

    • You’re welcome! I’m glad you enjoyed the post and found it helpful.

      Just relax and take a deep breath. Try to get the most out of the situation and never hesitate to walk away and just take a minute to yourself and BREATH. You got this! (:

  • You’ve gotten through them before and you will once more. As long as they don’t murder you, all will be good in the end. Holidays with my husband’s family were stressful for years. They’re all super christian and I’m…well, not. I felt judged around every corner, but that’s changing. At the end of the day, I can go home and my husband still loves me.

    • Thank you!
      I’m not worried about them murdering me, more like me murdering them! haha
      His family will love you more and more as they realize how much you love each other and how happy you two are together.

  • Joce@ohdeardeerblog

    I totally relate to this! My parents are split and the stress of making sure everyone has somewhere to go and no one feels left out is exhausting! Places with lots of people asking me what I am doing with my life is scary…I know they all care and mean well but sometimes I get tired of answering the same question over and over when I don’t even know the answer!

    • I’m so happy that others relate. It’s your life, you shouldn’t have to answer or care what they think. Keep moving and keep your head up. As I’ve told others, never hesitate to step away for your own time away.

  • I was thinking about Easter today, groaning to myself. My family all live up north, and it’s not exactly easy to just visit them whenever. So I tend to spend EVERY SINGLE HOLIDAY with my boyfriend’s parents and his extended family.

    Each time I get nervous and anxious. We don’t agree on everything and they believe in things I don’t, and I don’t feel like I can be myself. I have to pretend to be someone else.

    Be quiet. Sit straight. Don’t talk about girls (I’m bisexual). Don’t complain about mental health problems. Don’t share stories.

    I usually bring things to do; a book, my 3DS, sketchbook, etc. It doesn’t *always* work. His parents yell at each other over stupid things, I feel lonely and isolated. Sometimes I just want to want away and never deal with it again.

    Thanks for sharing this – even if it’s just a reminder to myself that I’m not alone in my feelings. ^^

    • I definitely understand that, both my family and my fiances grandparents. Just relax and as my mom says, “fake it til you make it”. Which in reality is just smile and enjoy the little things. Take hold of your boyfriends hand and just hold it to feel less alone. Sometimes that touch can help!
      You’re welcome. Than YOU for reading it and enjoying it. I’m so happy I can relate and possibly help others. Sometimes the best feeling is just to know you’re not alone.

  • I can totally relate. My husband and I live close to his family, so every holiday is filled with me attempting to keep up with traditions I’ve never heard of or trying not to say the wrong thing. Like L.C. Chiasson said, it’s nice to know that no matter what, I get to go home with my husband who loves me!

  • *HUGE LOVING LOVING LOVING LOVING LOVING LOVING HUGS*

    • Awwwwww *hugs just as affectionately*

  • Thank God I’m not the only one. Thank you for posting this.

    • You’re welcome! You’re definitely not alone!!

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